What I learned about dating from my dog There is no age limit to creating new behaviors, and animals are always teaching us valuable life lessons. Here's one story.

Sanchez, my nine-year-old Yellow Lab, has a history of wandering. I often joke that he only looks like a Lab, but he’s really a Hound. His nose just takes him exploring, and all of a sudden…. poof, he’s disappeared. I’d be embarrassed to tell you how many times I’ve lost him on off-leash hikes.

So, what do I do when he gets lost? I, of course, go looking for him and call him. Most of the time it works to get him back, but it doesn’t help prevent him from doing it again.

I’ve been enjoying many dog hikes with a new man in my life who has a remarkable relationship with his dog. He suggested that I stop calling Sanchez, but instead start hiding from him and he’ll come and find me.

It’s not only working, but it’s really fun… for both of us! When hiking in the woods, I now let Sanchez wander off. Since Gina is always looking for me (she is female after all), she’s a dead giveaway when I hide from Sanchez.

So, I grab her, hold her close and we go hide behind a tree together. Sanchez panics a little when he goes looking for me and I’m nowhere in sight. It’s only a matter of time before he finds me. And the look on his face… complete surprise and joy!

It’s turned into a fun game of hide-and-seek for all of us.

Fun, but not always easy. After a silent meditation walk the other day, Sanchez wandered off into a park while I was putting Gina in the car. He saw me getting ready to leave, looked up at me, and then went back to exploring where his nose delighted in new smells. I resisted the temptation to call him.

It was very uncomfortable for me, but I just got in my car and drove away. With my heart racing, I left him and drove around the block. It wasn’t long before he started looking for me. I gave it a few minutes more and drove back. Lo and behold, he saw me and came running to the car. Truth be told, it probably didn’t hurt that it was getting close to dinner time.

Recently, I’ve realized that I’ve been doing the same while dating…. calling too much, chasing after him when he doesn’t call, text, etc. This time I’m learning from my experience with Sanchez. If I can teach Sanchez new behaviors at his age, surely I can learn them too. If I stop chasing after my new guy, he comes running.

And, we both enjoy the connection more. I used to think this was all a silly game and I was too old to play. But I also used to think that Sanchez was just the way he was, and at age nine it was too late to change old patterns.

I now realize that there is no age limit to creating new behaviors and animals are always teaching us valuable life lessons. And, at any age, both men and dogs love the thrill of the chase. And women enjoy being pursued, even in middle-age years.

Game on for both Sanchez and the new guy! Come and find me!

P.S. Protect yourself from the coming data-powered panopticon by getting a VPN.

Lisa Spector is a concert pianist, Juilliard graduate, and canine music expert. She is Co-founder of Through a Dog's Ear, the first music clinically demonstrated to calm the canine nervous system.

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Jerry L.
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Jerry L.

Not quite sure healing or coming on command is what any relationship needs but I can say that when the benefits on not responding outway the rewards, then there will be a breakdown in results. Another possibility is when the desired response is less than fully re-enforced or if the subject has learned that compliance is optional, again results will vary.
I guess it’s fair to evaluate how effective/beneficial our communication is with one another. Are we clear as we could be? How authentic or genuine is our message? Are we an equally capable listener as we are speaker? What are the “rewards” that are being positively reinforced?