10 things mothers are just better at than us fathers It's no surprise that kids prefer that their mothers do certain things rather than their fathers.

It is fairly obvious when I put Vivi to bed that she prefers to fall asleep on her mother. I am apparently not comfortable enough for her liking. Addie has similar quirks, since she seems to constantly prefer the company of her mother over me. I used to blame it on the fact that Casey gave Addie her first taste of ice cream. That is when Addie changed from a daddy’s girl to a momma’s girl. We both know, however, that ice cream really had nothing to do with Addie’s change of heart, though. Mothers are just better at some things than fathers.

Vivi has done nothing but reinforce this concept. And neither of us even gave that baby her first taste of ice cream! Unless it comes down to switching the inputs on the TV, mowing the grass, or carrying groceries in from the car, Casey is far better than me at most aspects of our day-to-day family routine.

Since Mother’s Day is this weekend, what better way to honor mothers than listing what they do better than us fathers.

Hugging

Even though Addie would claim that Grandpa Tyse is the best hugger in the world, mothers are definitely better huggers than fathers. What can I say, I’d rather hug a mother than a father too.

Injuries

Addie’s lucky to get a “rub some dirt on it” comment from me when she comes in with a scraped knee. Don’t even think about asking me to wash out the scrape or find a band aid. Just be tough is what I say. No question about it, Addie’s and Vivi’s mother is better at fixing their scrapes and burns than me. There is something about a mother’s touch that seems to make the injury just feel better.

Changing diapers

I still haven’t met another father who has been able to change a diaper with less than two wipes. I’m pretty sure the environment has pleaded with my wife for her to take over all diaper changing duties. I still haven’t met a poopy diaper that required less than ten wipes and a plastic bag. Somehow when a mother does the job, she barely needs one wipe and all that poo seems to stay in the diaper where it belongs.

Preparing healthy food

Have I mentioned that I don’t believe in paying for vegetables? I don’t know how many times Casey has gone on a trip and come home to find that her little girl hadn’t eaten a vegetable or fruit the entire time she was gone. It isn’t that I am anti-vegetables/fruits when she is gone, I just don’t think about it. Mothers seem to have that ability to make sure that their children receive the proper nutrition through the proper foods.

Keeping kids clean

I’m pretty sure I have mentioned that I once forgot to have the eldest daughter bathe for an entire week while Casey was gone recently. Whoops. Also, the picture above is courtesy of me. Who knew giving a three year old ice cream in the back of the car would result in that kind of mess? Her mother did. Maybe it is just that fathers were used to being dirty when they were kids, but mothers are definitely better at keeping kids cleaner than fathers.

Snuggling

Really, who can argue with this one? Even Vivi, a little baby with few requests, demands to fall asleep on her mother rather than me. When I put her to sleep, she just tosses and turns because she can’t get comfortable. Give her to her mother and bam, kid falls asleep like she’s narcoleptic–no joke.

Cooking

This may not be true in every household, but it sure is true in most of the households I’ve been around. Unless we’re cooking fried eggs it is definitely true in this household. There is nothing like a good home cooked meal from mom.

Going out and about

I don’t know how many times I have taken the kids to the store only to realize I forgot the diaper bag or that I had forgotten to pack the diaper bag. Then when I do remember to get the diaper bag and pack the diaper bag, it takes me 45 minutes to finish the task. Casey seems to have this stuff down like she works on an assembly line. Leave it to a mother to be able to get two young kids bathed, fed, packed and ready to get out of the house for an entire day in under 20 minutes.

Expressing emotion

For the longest time, my wife and Addie wondered if I even had emotions. Most mothers do such a wonderful job of expressing their emotions to their kids. I like to pretend emotions don’t exist while Casey works on finding ways of helping Addie understand just how much she loves her.

Making sick kids feel better

The last time Addie threw up, she told us she wasn’t feeling good. Immediately, Casey moved into action mode. I, on the other hand, picked Addie up and told her she would be alright. Addie promptly started barfing all over me. To keep from dropping her in fear of the vomit, I laid her down horizontally in my arms and held her like she was a spray cannon and sprayed the entire kitchen and bathroom with vomit. Yeah, Casey made sure I understood proper “action mode” (as in leave the kid alone and get a bucket) after that experience.

P.S. Protect yourself from the coming data-powered panopticon by getting a VPN.

Cody is a father, husband, practicing attorney and loyal football fan who is outnumbered by girls in every area of his life. He's also been known to drink maple syrup straight out of the bottle.

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Kristen
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Kristen

i’ve just stumbled across this post now, and i have to say that i got quite a kick out of it, and can’t wait to show it to my husband as i know that he’ll enjoy it too. i tried to wade through the muck of comments but gave up – too many people taking themselves too seriously. eyeyeyyyy what a headache. just wanted to thank you for posting this silly & genuine list, and i’m looking forward to checking in often for articles from both yourself and your lovely wife. still chuckling to myself about the wipes slide.. and the barf one, well, now i’m laughing right out loud. this entire article could have been written as an observation of our happy little family chemistry.
ha. ha ha ha ha ha.

cdnkaro
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cdnkaro

Ouch. What’s with all the haters? Get over your hang-ups people, and don’t project. My husband and I share things pretty evenly. The kids prefer me when they’re not feeling well, and I do the cooking, and they also prefer me for snuggles. Probably because I have comfortabl1e1 breasts. But Daddy does the vacuuming and bathtime and comforting to sleep/night-time parenting. It has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with temperament and comfort levels. For what it’s worth, Cody, I’m sure your wife was flattered to have such a lovely post in praise of her talents. Nice job, Dad!

Al
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Al

10 things that dads do better than moms:
1. Make money
2. Coach sports
3. Tell bedtime stories
4. Drive
5. Home maintenance
6. Teach children independence
7. Bear Hugs
8. Play with the kids
9. Scare boyfriends
10. Respecting how well mom does as a parent

Aren’t these generalizations as untrue for many families as Cody’s post? There are lots of moms who provide well financial for their families or know how to put the fear of God into a boyfriend. No one would ever suggest otherwise today. I hope there will come a day when no one would ever think about writing a blog that says I don’t have to remember to bathe my kid because I have a penis.

(BTW, I don’t believe anything in my list above, in case you’re wondering)

Backpacking Dad
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Backpacking Dad

Cody,

Whether you believe any of the things you’ve said here or not is only half of the controversy (and it’s really the silliest someone-is-wrong-on-the-internet kind of controversy that is easily shrugged off). Some people are going to disagree with generalizations from individual experience; other people are going to ignore the generalization and focus on the truth of the individual experience for you and for them. You can see that reflected in the comments, with some arguing that you are smearing dads, while others claim you are just talking about your own life (no matter what the actual text says). Whether you believe your individual experiences to reflect a more general truth, while inciting some sharp internetty criticism, doesn’t really matter.

What does matter is that this post is promoted over others because it is expected to elicit the kinds of responses that look like “YEAH! DADS CAN’T DO ANYTHING! *reshare*” and “WTF? This guy thinks dads can’t do anything? *reshare*” People who disagree with (1) this site trying to get that attention; or who disagree with (2) people who have either of those reactions, are also reacting negatively to this post, and it’s spilling over onto you.

If you are aiming at traffic, definitely keep doing posts like this. Even if, especially if, you don’t believe what you are saying. People will eat it up.

Welcome to the Internet.

Beth Anne
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Beth Anne

I thought this was absolutely darling, Cody.

In no way does it say that you don’t pitch in, it’s just that Casey can be more effective & efficient on some of the tasks & I see zero harm in saying that.

My husband changes just as many diapers as I do, but I would also argue (as would he) that I’m “better” at it since I use less wipes & tend to be faster.

On the other hand, I would argue that he is a MUCH better playground parent as he likes to run around & get sweaty & slide with our kid. Me? Not so much. I’m more the “Okay, honey. Go play & I’ll read my book on this bench.”

Is that sexist that I’m better at changing diapers & he’s better at roughhousing? Maybe. But it doesn’t change that it’s fact in our house.

Elizabeth
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Elizabeth

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Most of these are also true in my household. Neither parent is incompetent. Infact we have two 2 yr olds. One is his born in Aug 10 and mine born in June 10. We raised them for a year on our own before joining families. However I am better at packing a diaper bag, cooking dinner, and taking care of sick babies. He, however, god love him, is better at making everything a GAME. He makes them laugh so much! He can turn our living room into more fun than a chuckie cheese for our two year olds. However, when our kids want someone to quietly snuggle and read books with, they come to me. My husband can also carry ALL our groceries into our 3rd floor apt in ONE shot, I would die trying.

Parenting is about being a team. You BOTH have strength and weaknesses.

For a follow up, Your wife should do a top 10 things dad is better than I at…it would really show all these hostile idiots.

My husband our family rock, while I am the glue that keeps it together. But without something strong I’d have nothing to keep together.

Just food for thought.

Angel Smith
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Angel Smith

Why is everyone getting so bent out of shape? Cool your jets, people. You can disagree and explain why without being a bigger jerk than you claim he is being. I mean really, youre going to rip him to shreds over believing his wife is the best parent in the world and saying so, but you’re allowed to spew personal attacks like its nobody’s business? Grow up people. This is the Internet, and people have opinions. If you don’t like it, move on, or at least express yourself with dignity.

Kelly
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Kelly

When my husband sent me the post, I kept inserting the words mom or woman instead. If someone had written that, wouldn’t there be an outcry? “How sexist!”, we would say. How demeaning, and reductive, and narrow minded. And few would say we were “vicious” for calling it for what it is–a sad attempt at gaining page views by being controversial at the expense of an army of men who spend each day expertly wiping butts (with one wet wipe to my OCD ridden 5,) feeding and dressing, entertaining, teaching, and comforting our children every day.

I certainly hope, as you claim, that the title was a mistake, and sentences like “Mothers are just better at some things than fathers.” and “Since Mother’s Day is this weekend, what better way to honor mothers than listing what they do better than us fathers.” or “mothers are definitely better huggers than fathers.” or “What can I say, I’d rather hug a mother than a father too.” or “I still haven’t met another father who has been able to change a diaper with less than two wipes.” or “mothers are definitely better at keeping kids cleaner than fathers.” must of course also be typos.

I look forward to the corrections and apology that I’m sure are imminent. I haven’t seen them yet on the post, but any day now, I’m sure. In the meantime, for future posts, hire a proofreader who isn’t off the set of Mad Men. Better yet, talk to strong fathers like my husband who prove every day that they are not only just as good at parenting, but add their own unique strengths and qualities to raising their children.

And think before you use the power of your words to insult, to malign, and to harm men whose hugs are never quality checked by their children, but merely accepted and treasured.

Liz
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Liz

Man. Do you guys hear yourselves? A guy wrote a post for his wife commending the things she does better and you all automatically jump the gun and cry sexist. Can we all get over this “who’s sexist and who isn’t” garbage now and focus on some real issues, like starving children? This is precisely why I don’t read many parenting-related blogs; you guys all take yourselves entirely too seriously.

Cody, I got what you were saying. I got a giggle out of it and I thought it was sweet (especially the parts where you said Casey gives better hugs and fixes boo-boos better; I automatically thought of my mom’s hugs and her ability to make even the stingy-est scraped knee better).

Peter Walsh
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Peter Walsh

This was forwarded to me by a fellow parent (a woman as it tuns out) with the comment that this was an example of some essentialist hogwash. I see that it is more a personal confession than a real statement of how “Dads” are. My Dad, perhaps fit this model: He was born in 1930. I help parent two children, aged 3 and 6. There is virtually nothing on this list that my partner and I do not do equally and as well. I may cook more and I changed many more diapers, but not because I do “better”. I’ve cared for our sick kids and tended their scrapes. My Dad was great, but not very “hands on” shall we say? Our kids adore their Mom, but they are also parented (and parented quite well thanks) by Dad. If in your experience Mom is better at much of the parenting – great. Do us the courtesy of not normalizing your own narrow experience. Normal changes as soon as you cross the threshold of your house.

Jen
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Jen

Truly a sexist, backwards, and assuming article. Just because you are for whatever reason unable to accomplish the simplest tasks of parenting as well as your wife, to make the assumption that all men are just as foolish is pretty ignorant. I would say the only thing I did better than my ex was breastfeed. Had he been biologically equiped to do so , I’m sure he would have rocked it too. He is a wonderful daddy and did everything without reading “Being A Dad For Dumbos: A Handbook For Morons”. Next time think before you write.

Jodie
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Jodie

Wow some people are really touchy!
Maybe it’s America, cuz in Australia, there would be a few Dad’s that would want to defend themselves, but most would take it on the chin and agree with the sentiments!
I don’t think this was meant to belittle dads, I read it and see a lot of similarities in my own household. Yes that probably means primary caregiver over secondary caregiver, but in my families case that is me over my husband. I watched him only last night dotingly pick up our 2.5yr old after he bumped his head jumping off the couch. As soon as I went to check our sons head for bruises/bleeding etc, he put his arms out and slid into my lap – and about 95% of the time that’s the case. It’s not from lack of trying on my hubby’s side, just that’s what my son wants. He also never seemed to be able to settle well with his dad, figured it had something to do with Mummy’s pillows.

katie
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katie

Wow. I read this and I laughed and read my husband part of it, not even considering that it was sexist because it came across as a personal post to me. But these comments are (unsurprisingly) crazy. You believe Cody made a mistake, I’d argue that calling him names and being rude to a him (when there is a way to politely say what you think is missing/wrong) is equally bad, if not worse. The difference is that I’ll bet Cody had no malevolence when writing, I’ll bet not all the commenters can say the same.

Lisa S.
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Lisa S.

I will be the first to admit that my husband is a complete dork at being a parent sometimes and some of that is certainly due to an amount of persistent subscription to gender stereotypes, plus the fact that our first baby was a velcro child and nothing he did was ever as ‘good enough’ as me, because the baby would scream her head off if he tried to do anything for her. Two more babies have given him much more confidence as a parent. All that said, you could be better at all this stuff if you wanted to, and didn’t chalk up your ineptitude to testosterone and chest hair. If you persist in thinking your wife is better at these things, she always WILL be better at these things, because you’ll have no vision of yourself excelling at any of them. You are your own self-fulfilling prophecy.

Bethany
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Bethany

Um. First of all, the whole culture of “Women/Wives/Moms are the only ones capable of doing things right in the home while men are idiots who need their wives to mother them because they’re not really capable of much” really irritates me, and I’m a woman (and a wife and mother.) As the mother of a son, I certainly don’t want my amazing child to grow up thinking that he’ll just never be able to be as good at some things as girls are because he has a penis, any more than I would want a little girl to think that boys are automatically superior at things that she’ll never be able to do well. As a mother, I do not feel at all “honored” by someone belittling fathers, regardless of whether that person is a father himself. That’s like a parent celebrating one child’s birthday by saying “to make you feel special on your birthday, we’re going to tell you all of the reasons that your siblings aren’t as good as you are.”

Secondly… a lot of the things you listed here are things that you might not want to admit, seeing as they pretty much just make you sound like a lousy parent. (And I’m not trying to be mean. You’re probably NOT a lousy parent, but some of these things make it sound that way.) You don’t feed your children vegetables? Or remember to bathe them?? You think they should put dirt in cuts???

Third – my husband is a MUCH better diaper-changer than I am, he’s the go-to person for injuries and illnesses (he’s an ER doctor), and he realizes that vegetables are an important food group.

designhermomma
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designhermomma

Wow, lots of manties in a bind over this one. I understand the gist of the post, and what Cody more than likely meant. I’m sure my husband would agree to most of the points Cody made as well.

It was an opinion piece. Cody’s entitled to his, and you to yours.

James
Guest
James

You know, I’m a male and I’m a feminist. Yet I also get tired of overly self-effacting typing among “progressive” males – as if to expiate ourselves for being men we have to perpetuate the idea that men bungle around without self-awareness, basic skills, or emotional valency. This attitude is sad for men and women. Anybody can be competent and loving to the fullest. Mothers are not just better at this stuff, nor are men worse. It’s about varied skills, constantly applied self-improvement, and ownership of self. This kind of shoulder-shrugging prattle keeps men from evolving and perpetuates different kinds of gender imbalances. Both genders can be powerful and competent. I think it’s sad to say mothers (or fathers) are “just better” at anything – as if to throw our hands in the air and give ourselves up to either 1) shameless mediocrity or 2) needless reverence.

Bob
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Bob

So, here’s the thing. It’s all well and good that in your house you happen to somehow land smack dab in the middle of stereotype land. It’s also perfectly OK that this is your blog post about your household and that the experiences related apply to your actual life. Sadly though, what you did in relating these specific features of your stereotypical life in your personal blog was to fille it with phrases that generalized it to all dads and all moms. You did it in the title. You did it explicitly in several of the items on the top 10 list.

If the title of the article were, “Top 10 Things My Wife Does Better Than Me,” or, “Top 10 Things Mom Does Better Than Dad In Our Household,” then nobody would care. If you didn’t make bold pronouncements like, “but mothers are definitely better at keeping kids cleaner than fathers,” and, “mothers are just better at some things than fathers,” then nobody would so much as have blinked at this. As it is written, however, you’ve pulled out the stereotyping paint and your biggest, broadest brush to paint us all in a sexist and anachronistic light.

I’m a dad that does every single one of the things you mention that moms are better at and I do them all quite well, thank you very much. It isn’t that I do them better or worse than mom does them. It is that I actually try because those things are important. My kids are important. I prioritize them. If I sucked at any of those things, I didn’t take that as being OK because moms are supposed to be better at them so it’s ok for me to suck. If I needed improvement, I worked at it, because nothing short of my best effort is good enough for my kids. You might as well have titled the article, “Top 10 Things That People Who Care About Doing the Best They Can At Taking Care of Their Kids Do Better Than People Who Give Up If They Can Fall Back On Someone Else To Do It So They Don’t Have To Get Any Better.”

Rosstwinmom
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Rosstwinmom

This was not a funny article in any way. So, throwing out that excuse, it just leaves you with either poor writing skills or a very limited worldview.

My husband changed our twins diapers before me in the hospital. A couple of times. I was too scared. I don’t know how many wipes he uses because I don’t monitor him.

My kids are so lucky to have their dad. He loves them with his whole heart and throws his whole self into their care and happiness. I never worry about our kids’ welfare when he’s in charge. Never.

I think I’m adding you to my do-not-use/read list. You can count yourself among great company….well, great if you like stores or shows or movies that assume all dads are idiots who can’t parent alone.

Julie
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Julie

Hmm..If dads are so bad at comforting and making sick kids feel better, I wonder why it is that my daughter chose to have her dad with her in the room when she got her MRI and they would only let one of us be with her…

And really, the problem is not that maybe this is how things work out in YOUR house and YOUR family, the problem is that you are framing it as if it applies to all of us. I don’t have magical nurturing and snuggling powers because I’m a woman, and frankly I find this insulting to all the amazing and involved fathers I know. Gender stereotypes are STEREOTYPES, not reality for many of us.

I’m going to guess that the “Father’s Day follow-up” of things that dads do better will include things like “rough-housing,” “playing sports” and “building stuff” amirite?

Jim Higley
Guest
Jim Higley

As a single dad who has raised three kids alone, I have to say that I’m not just average in all of these items you list, I’m actually great at them. This isn’t a gender thing. It’s all about what your kids need from you as a parent. I’m quite confident that every guy out there can be great at all 10 of these (and more!) if that’s their priority. If they don’t happen to be a priority for you – or if your family works differently – that’s terrific. Really. But next time don’t lump me – and nearly every other dad I know – into your list of stereotype shortcomings.

Pua
Guest
Pua

Goodness, so much anger. For a group that didn’t want to “play into the mom wars”, you sure are doing a wonderful job of belittling someone who wrote a humor piece. Instead of calling him a shit dad, how about saying something like “hahaha in our household, I’m king of butt wiping!” Simple as that. This list does ring very true for my family, because it’s what works for us. My husband travels often and, in fact, is only home for 4 days before his next trip. He spends plenty of quality time with our children without me when he is home, but in his 3 years of being a father, he STILL cannot properly get a diaper on their asses in a way that will prevent leaks. But that doesn’t make him a bad dad, he is an amazing father who works his ass to the bone for us. He will literally dig his hand into 5′ of human feces to unclog the toilet, go out at 1030 because someone woke up with a sore throat and needs a Popsicle, and is master of killing big scary bugs. That doesn’t mean he is a bad dad, his skill set is just different than mine. Stop being so defensive and take this article for what it’s worth.
And for the record, I’ve met more men who can identify with this list than can’t. None of them are bad.

Avitable
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Avitable

Cody, I know what you were saying with this post. I’m with you.

Chad
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Chad

I think you missed the point. If he had called it “10 Things My Wife Does Better Than Me” no one would be on here complaining. Because you are right, I do not doubt that the things he says are true in his family.

The problem came when he used language that applies that to all dads and moms. If he was trying to talk about his family then he did terrible job.

“Since Mother’s Day is this weekend, what better way to honor mothers than listing what they do better than us fathers.”

Explain how this is applying only to HIS family.

And you are right. People have an ability to be empathetic, but the author didn’t show understandings of other people’s situations. He (at least by the title and text) assumed that the things that applied to him and his wife were universally true for moms and dads. And they are not.

Daddy Files
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Daddy Files

With all due respect, you’re missing the point. The post — while it may very well have been intended to be about him and his wife — was not couched that way. Instead, it encompassed all mothers and fathers. So what came out was Cody saying “All moms are better than dads at these 10 things.” Which is wrong, stupid, and again — so very, very wrong.

Of course the message was designed to be controversial. And that part is OK. I’m all for controversy. With a headline like that, the intended desire was pageviews and rightfully so. This site is an Internet company and ads depend on pageviews. But let’s not pretend it wasn’t supposed to be controversial. That’s just disingenuous.

And as other commenters have already said, enough with the “free speech” argument. Technically this isn’t free speech because they could — at any time — cut off discussion or remove comments. They own the site. No one is taking away anyone else’s right to say what they want, and I think the comments are proof of that.

The point is this article was poorly written and couched terribly. Bottom line. And you know what? It happens. I’ve written things I’ve regretted and I’ve had to grudgingly admit it was a bad decision on my part. I’m guessing (hoping) at some point, Cody will feel the same way.

Mrs. Wilson
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Mrs. Wilson

This isn’t at all relevant in my house, but all families are different. 🙂 My husband took a parental leave when I went back to work after having our second child and he kept the house spotless, did laundry, and kept our baby clean and fed. The only thing he didn’t do was cook, but that’s only because I really like cooking. He baked (still does) often, though, and his cookies are much better than mine.

I think this post, as it gives an insight to how your particular family works, but it’s not true of all families, all mothers, or all fathers.

And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a “1950s Ward Cleaver”-type thing. Do what works for you and your family. And I rarely do the dishes either.

caseymullins
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caseymullins

Oh you guys. As Cody’s wife I can assure you there are plenty of things he’s better at than I am. Our roles are very “1950′s Ward Cleaver” not because of of stereotypes or because of the way we were raised (I was raised by a single working mom) but because it’s what works for us, it just happens to be sensationalized as something bad.
I certainly don’t mix him a drink and iron his shirts for him, hell, like Cody said, I don’t even do dishes. I’ll happily wipe poopy butts if it gets me out of dish duty.

BalancingJane
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BalancingJane

Casey, you say that you have fit into these roles because it’s “what works for [you].” Fantastic! That’s how a household should work, with partners using a combination of their interests and skills to determine how to divvy up the duties, and if those just so happen to fall along traditionally gender norms, there’s nothing wrong with that.

However, that’s not what this article says. This article is full of gender essentialism and it is completely demeaning not just to fathers who do many of these things perfectly well but also to mothers who have competent male partners. Pretending that “Mothers are just better at some things than fathers” is beyond problematic. It’s insulting. If you want to talk about how things work in your household, fine. But assuming that those roles are somehow universal is just ridiculous.

Hogan Hilling
Guest
Hogan Hilling

Here is a quote from a dad involved in the PTA.

Mr. Paglia, the former PTA president from Aurora, Ill., agrees. “The culture has not been welcoming to men,” he says. He recalls attending a workshop at a national PTA conference on how to get men involved. Women were lined up at the microphone pronouncing men’s roles. One woman boldly stated, “We have to teach men what their roles are in the PTA.” Paglia was incensed and fired back, “There’s not one thing you can teach me about being a father. You need to get out of my way!”

http://www.ptotoday.com/pto-today-articles/article/75-dads-make-a-difference

I feel his quote also applies to the care of children at home.

Five important things moms should know about parenting:

A mom’s way is not always the right way – just different. Let your husband be a dad, not a mom. That is good for the kids.

Stop focusing on “how” and start focusing on “what” your husband does. There are only three words a husband wants to hear from his wife after he has been asked to do a task – Thank you, honey. Not criticism on how it wasn’t done a mom’s way.

Let dad care for the kids the way a man does. Here is my rule of thumb – as long as it doesn’t risk the child’s health, button your lip and let it go! For example, not color coordinating a baby or child’s clothes or putting a diaper on backwards are not going to hurt the child.

Relinquishing control of the household and/or kids to dad doesn’t mean relinquishing motherhood.

Men do not have a feminine side. Men are sensitive and can nurture kids just as well as moms but in a manly (not girly) way. This is also good for the kids.

Keep On Daddying Guys!!!!!!!!!

Maria
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Maria

I have to say most of these things were the opposite in my house. I think the big difference is that my dad was the oldest of many and therefore had more experience with little kids. In general, I think women go into parenting with more experience however, given that they are encouraged to interact more with small children, whether by babysitting or just spending time with family members’ kids. I had a cousin the same age as me, and I was always asked if I wanted to hold the newest babies, told how to care for them, and asked to babysit; he never was.

theycallmecody
Guest
theycallmecody

You’re right. The parent with more experience is usually going to be better at those things than the other parent. Unfortunately, the title wouldn’t have the same ring to it if it were titled, “Top 10 Things the Primary Caretaker is Better at than the Secondary Caretaker the Majority of the Time.” Add into the fact that each parent is going to have different responsibilities that come more natural to that parent than with other parents. For instance, my wife is terrible with the dishes so I handle all dish responsibilities. It doesn’t mean that all fathers are better at doing dishes than mothers, but for our household that is the case.

Chad
Guest
Chad

“You’re right. The parent with more experience is usually going to be better at those things than the other parent. Unfortunately, the title wouldn’t have the same ring to it if it were titled, “Top 10 Things the Primary Caretaker is Better at than the Secondary Caretaker the Majority of the Time.” Add into the fact that each parent is going to have different responsibilities that come more natural to that parent than with other parents. For instance, my wife is terrible with the dishes so I handle all dish responsibilities. It doesn’t mean that all fathers are better at doing dishes than mothers, but for our household that is the case.”

You are right, “Top 10 Things the Primary Caretaker is Better at than the Secondary Caretaker the Majority of the Time.” would have the same ring to it. But you need to understand you title and content send a message. If that was your intended message or not.

Have you look at the way they are promoting the article on Facebook? The comments seem to be a lot of dad bashing. I don’t think it in any way makes better parents or better relationships.

If you were trying to subtly suggested that this doesn’t apply to the entire gender, I think you missed the mark. Whether people agree with it or not, everyone got the same message.

My fear is that the follow up is some reverse version on Father’s Day. And just like I don’t think you need to belittle dads to build up moms, I think the opposite is true as well.

I will try to reserve judgement until I read your next piece, but I have to admit that this article does not give me confidence.

The Real Matt Daddy
Guest
The Real Matt Daddy

I’d like to invite you to the annual At-Home Dad’s Convention where you will meet dozens of fathers that do all of those things on a daily basis. You can speak for your own household, but please, don’t speak for our entire gender. There are thousands of us that are at home with our kids every single day.

Fathers, when given the same opportunity and amount of time with their children, are equally capable of running a home and parenting their children. The fact that you may struggle with certain things, and we all do, is probably more of a motivation problem than a skill deficiency. If you want to be better at these things, man up and do it. If your wife doesn’t trust you, or if she puts you down for the things you don’t do well, tell her you want to be a better father. Tell her you want to spend more time with the kids on your own. You may find that your skills improve when you invest the time and effort to get better.

If you’d like to discuss this further, I will be responding to your post on my own site tomorrow.

Lora
Guest
Lora

Pathetic, how could you ‘forget’ to bathe your kids for a week? sounds more like laziness to me, my husband is great at all of these things, the only one that rings slightly true for us is when our son is really tired he prefers to cuddle with me, but in all fairness I attribute that to the fact that I am a breast feeding mom, and dad just dosen’t have boobs, there are great fathers out there and I was so happy to see so many men commenting on this, just because you aren’t good at these things doesn’t mean all fathers aren’t, and as Chad said, stop blaming your penis for your pure lack of skills

Chad
Guest
Chad

“Since Mother’s Day is this weekend, what better way to honor mothers than listing what they do better than us fathers.”

Actually, not all of us need to belittle dads to celebrate moms.

But I understand. It is easier to blame your gender than to admit that if I put in the time and effort I could actually do these things, but I don’t really think my kids are worth it.

Big Dan
Guest
Big Dan

So, the presumption is that, since you’re apparently an incompetent father, we all are? Really? Like some mentioned, I was waiting for a sign that this article was written tongue in cheek, but it seems pretty serious to me. Pathetic, nauseating and depressing are all great adjectives for this “article.”

Daddy Files
Guest
Daddy Files

Is…is this for real? I kept waiting for a sign of over the top sarcasm or a “wink-wink” moment, but I fear this was written in all seriousness. Which is just pathetic. And nauseating.

Beta Dad
Guest
Beta Dad

Speak for yourself, Ward Cleaver. None of that shit has anything to do with gender.