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  • The Culture
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  • Home & Garden
  • Beauty
  • Finance & Biz
  • Wayfaring
  • 12 super offensive Xmas songs to get you in the mood for the stress to come Abusive Christmas songs are just as traditional as the more saccharine stuff -- and a lot more palatable.

    With twelve days to Xmas it’s time we got in the mood, so here’s twelve songs to count down the days and help get you through the next twelve sleepless nights you’ll be having — quivering with excitement as you wait for Santa to come down the chimney and make his sentence known. We all know there’s nothing worse than cheery Christmas songs about baby Jesus in some manger waiting to receive his gifts from the three bloody kings. I like my noëls to have swearing and derogatory lyrics, I want to hear about the three kings gang banging Mary under the mistletoe, while Joseph fellates a cow, and Santa…

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    Cheersleader: 16 drinking toasts that don’t totally suck Rise to the special occasion by prefacing the first sip with one of these delightful toasts.

    September 23, 2020

    Food fad fetishists have truly lost the plot The art of eating is being lost thanks to a growing army of health nuts and food police.

    June 21, 2016

    10 scientific reasons you should swallow The science is settled.

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  • How to survive your family during the holidays A survival guide.

    Sure. Okay! YOUR family is just soooo fucking perfect. Everyone gets along! You love to spend hours catching up on the 364 days of the year. Breaking bread with blood is the best! Look at you special you you guy you. Golly and jolly! Yay Christmas! Yay Hanukkah! Fuck Hanukkah. Fart Fuck Christmas. Yeah… Fart Fuck Christmas. “Hey, Andy why don’t you chill out, bro and get a grip! Be thankful for what you have! Life’s too short.” Fuck that guy (even though I wrote it; fuck me too.) Like most of us, our immediate family (for lack of a better word)…suck. There’s a reason why you don’t talk to…

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    It Happened To Me: We invited a transwoman to girl’s night and it blew up in our faces "I'm sorry but if you're uncomfortable now, wait until we lez out and instead of licking you have to suck."

    July 30, 2019

    It Happened To Me: Two of my simps died Let me tell you about Crazy T and Latex Geezer.

    June 21, 2007

    The strange things men pay prostitutes to do When I worked as a street prostitute, men paid me to do things you'd never imagine.

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