Your relationship with yourself is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to maintain. Life is difficult and sometimes it feels like the universe is actively working against our joy. Whether it’s bills, or school, or even a terrible relationship our lives ebb and flow with both the terrible and the wonderful.
Keeping a good grasp on your self-worth can be challenging. We’re the most difficult on ourselves because we know above everyone else what we’re capable of, and how much potential we possess. It’s paramount to love yourself to succeed in life, and although I struggle with it at times, I find myself falling a little more in love with who I am each and every day.
The first step to learning to love yourself again is to understand your limitations as a human. As much as we want to be the best at everything we attempt, the reality is we’re born and cultivate ourselves to allow our talents to thrive. We need to accept that we can’t do it all, and that we shouldn’t expect ourselves to. It is easier to learn to love and accept yourself when you set realistic goals and expectations for yourself.
Why would you want to constantly set achievements for yourself that you won’t be able to follow through with? By getting to know your strengths and weaknesses as a person you’re allowing yourself to feel good about what you succeed in.
You fall in love with yourself by treating yourself as you would any significant other. Take yourself out on a date to the movies; buy yourself the big popcorn because you’re worth it. After a bad day of work take yourself to a happy hour for a fancy cocktail. Take yourself to dinner and don’t bring a book, allow yourself to take in your environment without distractions. It’s through dating yourself again that you get to know yourself. The more time you spend focusing on yourself the more clearly you will begin to understand your wants, needs, and most importantly what will make you happy in life.
Slowly, but surely, you will learn to trust in the power of yourself and begin to understand that you will always be stronger than you expect yourself to be. Look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you’re gorgeous. Remind yourself that you’re smart and possess all the qualities you’ll ever need to make it through any situation.
The ultimate form of self-worth is knowing that you are all you need in this world, everyone else is simply a lovely addition. You fall back in love with yourself by continuing to tell yourself that you matter; that your ideas, dreams, and hopes are valid.
You fall back in love with yourself by reminding yourself that no one will ever be as unique, individual, and complex as yourself. And, you fall back in love with yourself by looking in the mirror and recognizing that you’re someone worthy of respect and adoration from the outside world.
You fall back in love with yourself by putting your needs and happiness above everyone else’s, and when you do, there is no greater feeling in the world.
Shawn Binder is a Los Angeles based writer who has appeared in VICE and Hobart Pulp.